2 days.

I feel good this week. At least mentally. This afternoon I had an unexpected stomach...yeah, nevermind.

Aside from that, Monday morning I woke up like the fog had cleared. I'm not sure why. J. (my husband; for now I will call him J.) was away this weekend and maybe the fact that he arrived home late on Monday helped, that I knew he was coming home. I dunno. Felt like the last week was muddied, and this is a little clearer.

My only question is what I am going to start my 12 tries with. After all I've been thinking...I am not sure. Things I know I want to try:

meat eating
traveling to Asia
learning to ride a bike
race a half-marathon

Asia (Japan) will be in late May. Racing a half-marathon will be in early May.
Riding a bike should probably take place when it is a little warmer and less rainy out. I'm not sure. I'll have to ask my friend B., who has offered to teach me.

So maybe eating meat is something that will happen next month?

I really can't think about eating right now.

Other things that give me an initial "ugh" include:

• Anything like geocaching. You know, where you get the coordinates and shit and have to find something? I can take 3 hours to find my car keys on my own.
• Knitting. I am not crafty, but more like I don't think that would be very fun. I have no interest in researching knitting. So maybe not knitting.

Still thinking...pondering. Rock climbing?Portland Rock Gym? (I just typoed "gyn" which perhaps is a slip of some sort, though I don't think Freudian.)

I should learn how to gut a fish. To dissect an artichoke. I love cooking but fear that due to my other hobbies and restricted diet (I avoid gluten) I have wildly swung in the other direction and only eat things in patty or pre-formed form.

Join a CSA. Make more veggies.

Write something with a plot.

Thinking...

More on why I'm doing this.

I realized I haven't explained why I am doing this, or what the deal is exactly behind 12 tries.

When confronted with something new, often my first chance is "I don't want to do that." I fear. I worry. I figure I'll be bad at something. Then--providing I am, which is what usually happens when you try something that you have never, ever done--I proceed to beat myself up over it repeatedly until I'm convinced I hate it.

But that happens with things I haven't yet tried, but based on past experiences, I will assume I don't like. Like knitting. I don't understand why I should do it when I can go out and buy a perfectly good Thing That Is Knitted, because I'm basing the fact that I can't knit on past issues of me having no craft skills whatsoever.

But that's not entirely true. Writing is an art...but it's really more a craft, I think. Cooking, which I love...is a craft. I think. What exactly is a craft, anyway? I will have to look it up.

(I am crafty. But not always in the appropriate ways. That is perhaps a discussion for another time.)

Some things, I will admit, I am not predisposed toward, genetically or otherwise, to be doing. I'm 5'8" and clumsy -- I'm not setting out to become a professional gymnast. I'm not advanced when it comes to math; I can barely calculate a tip.

I'm not going to try to defy reality, but I am going to try to get out of my comfort zone.

Because when I do, I surprise myself.

In 2005, I decided I would run a marathon. Prior to this, my attitude toward running was that I would run if someone chased me.

I don't entirely know why I did this -- it was in my head even before the New Year's Eve that I said I was going to go it. But I did. I did it with Team in Training, which got me trying something else new, which is fundraising. I exceeded my goal, and ran a marathon.

And now you can't fucking get me to stop running.

Maybe I'll cotton onto something I've tried. Maybe I won't. But it's at least time to give it some thought.

I'm tired of being scared of things I don't know.

5.5 days until 35.

35 in 10 days

I think it's 10 days. April 2. I don't know. I've never been good at math.

I've never been good at keeping blogs, either. I've tried it about three times, so I already can't vouch for what you'll find or won't find, the quality or quantity of the writing, or how long I'll keep this going. Like journals, like writing projects I start and don't finish, or ones that make it through a first draft but abandoned in the second or third...I can't tell you about the ride you're going to go on other than you'll go on it with me.

Online writing is for people who are organized. I am not. I am just awful at categorizing. I do have a file cabinet, for example, but it is overflowing. It hides mess--as long as I don't open it. It is more like a piling cabinet than a filing cabinet.

Online writing is for people who are brief. I am not. I am long-winded, an overexplainer, and often suffer from verbal diarrhea. I'll write a 30-minute long speech, no problem, but ask me to write an ad and I freeze. It shows in the copy, too.

I've had this blog for months now, but this is my first post. (Duh. That's probably obvious by the fact that it's on the bottom. Or wherever blogspot puts this eventually.)

The purpose of starting this blog is this:

I turn 35 in April. 35 is my lucky number. This means good things.

It also means that I will try something new, once a month, for each month. I can't try 365 different things; I have a job. (I actually have a few jobs, but who's counting.) 35 things is a lot to bite off (and chew). It may turn out that I try 35 (or more) different things in the course of doing 12, but I think one a month will do me good.

It will also allow me the time to learn about and deal with all my feares, neuroses, and research.

I haven't laid out all 12 things yet. That's because I don't know them. Here are a few, in no particular order; although I will dedicate one per month, I'm not sure where to start.

• Eat meat
• Learn to ride a bike
• Travel to Japan (this is a gimme; we're already going this spring)

...and much, much more. I'm open to suggestions, too.

The purpose of continuing this blog is TBD. I'll see how long it can carry on. Maybe that's one of my 12 tries--to keep this going for a year.

I'll probably post about other things that happen throughout the year; that's usually what happens when I start blogs.

The thing is, who are you talking to? Blogging, to me, is a whole lot of "is this thing on?". You can only say so much online because, say you direct people to it, you know you can't talk about them then, and whoever comes upon this...I don't know.

First blog posts are always so awkward, aren't they? That ... digital throat-clearing, I guess. I like to go to some of my favorite blogs and read the first post.

So right now, this is the pilot to a series that is looking like it won't get beyond the first 13- episode-order. But hey, I got 12 tries--I'm already ahead of myself.

More to come as I get closer to my birthday.