She only got one oar in the water...

That's like how you say someone's stupid, right? Like one card short of a full deck.
Like how I say "not the brightest chicken on the chopping block" (yeah ok even I don't know why I do that). Well that's what I did this morning.

I was up before the alarm -- OMG I don't even want to know what time that was; l I set my alarm to go off at 5, but our bedroom clock is set a few minutes fast, and it was one of those things where I was up before the alarm but stayed in bed anyway. So up and out the door and down to the boathouse on Water St. at 5:30 and I was one of the last folks there.

The boathouse is bustling. I never realized where it was, that it was there, that is was so big. There are a lot of boats, all so narrow, strapped to the walls, how is there so much activity before 6 a.m.? I never see that many people while running at that hour. It had a level of activity if not like the waterfront at noon on a sunny Wednesday, then it had that feel. Not as many people, but just the amount of...bustle. Who bustles that early? Even I don't!

(Incidentally: Who have I become? It's not enough to get up at 5:15 to run at 6 a.m.? Now I have to get up at 4:50 to row at 5:30? Should I just become a breadbaker at this point?)

There are -- 11? 12? of us? All women and one man. The instructor is a guy named Peter and he had someone from the club named...uh, I forget her name. Forgive me, it was early. I'd say our ages ranged from ~28-55. We first sat on the floor and got a short talking to, then moved over to watch a video--that didn't work. So that will be Wednesday.

Then we went over to the rowing machines, or "erg" as one is called. I think it is short for ergometer, but I think it's the noise I made. Not that it is difficult (at least not when you are going that goddamn slow!), but you take apart everything about the stroke, and learn it one piece at a time. And then you put it together. Then you forget it again. It's like choreography--and I'm no good at dancing.

We started with the arms, just getting used to the pull back and forward motion. Your hands should basically be at the top of your ribs--under your breasts, before the bellybutton. Then back--you should sit up straight, with maybe a 10% lean back as you,...pull? (I can't remember, I just had to click away from screen and then I came back here and forgot.) Then the legs, which is where you want most of the weight/strength/power.

On the way in, it's legs, back, arms; on the way out, where you power, is arms, back, legs.

Wait.

I think.

See what I mean? It's like overanalyzing a book in English class--you delve so far in and get metaphors so far up your own ass that you're like, wait, what am I reading?

One way is arms, back, legs; the other is legs, back arms. I just can't remember which now. Am I stupid? One oar short of a full boat? Dumb as a box of rocks?

Okay, on the way in, it's arms, back, legs; then as you stroke out (again, forget the terms), it's legs, back, arms. At least the back stays the middle child no matter what.

Juanita! That was the woman's name--not the instructor, but the club member that came out to help. I remember this because I think she made me do something wrong when I was on the erg--I thought I was doing great, was a natural...and then she spent a lot of time with me because--surprise!--I am not a natural at something that requires remembering what parts to move and when. But when she was trying to get me to move my arms independently of my back, I think she pushed my back forward. I don't know. maybe it was me and not her, maybe I shouldn't blame, maybe I really do suck.

Legs, back, arms, arms, back, legs. Right?

It got better when we went into the water. But first, we had to get the boats into the water.

And that was hard. And kind of unwieldy.

When I'm running by the Hawthorne bridge, I watch for the folks bringing in the boats to or from the river. I gotta tell you, they look light. I mean, really; they are narrow and thin, right? And they float. So they should be like styrofoam, right?

No! The boat we took out--granted it was like an 8 or 10-person shell (shell? I think that's the right word) and it weighed like 250 lbs. Okay, maybe that's like the size of a large man and there were 11 of us , but still. That is heavy when you have ~25-30 lbs in your palms flipping this thing overhead and when you are holding it in a manner that is not consistent with any weightlifting you have ever done.

So we maneuver it out of the boathouse and down to the dock. And it was cold. I had a long sleeve shirt and shorts on, because I planned to go for a run after class. I won't do that again. The days I row are the days I don't run, or at least not that morning; the clothes I'd wear for running are not the ones I'll wear for rowing. Especially the shoes; my running shoes don't really fit in the boat, and I don't want to risk ruining them or my orthotics. So crappy stuff from now on.

Besides, the goose shit abounded.

I've got to wrap this up in a few mins because I'm going for a coffee with a colleague momentarily.

Anyway, we got in the boat and tried making some strokes with the oars, making, like, small rectangles with the strokes and the oars. We did arms and back but not legs. I'm happy to say that felt a lot better than the erg. It was actually fun. It gave me confidence that maybe I could do it. Feeling the oar in the water and the pull of smoothness...that was kinda nice.

Of course we didn't leave the dock.

Interested to see how Wed. will go.